40

Chapter 40

I used the phone in the kitchen to call the police. It was the only thing I assumed to be my legal responsibility in such a situation. Before I could make it across the yard back to my home, a singular police car pulled into a lazy stop at the curb between our houses. Dust escaped from beneath it like steam from a broken pipe. I decided it would happen sooner than later anyway, so I altered my course for interception and the hopefully short "he didn't do it" interrogation with the officer.

"Good morning, officer". Oops. I immediately realized I'd committed a verbal indiscretion. He didn't seem to notice, or care.

He looked somewhat like an hyena that had wandered out of its habitat, cross-pollenated with that butler from The Adams Family. He had bug-eyes, thick dark hair just on the kept side of disregarded, and one ear slightly higher than the other. His uniform was threadbare with a dark spot of coffee just under the badge, "Stemholtz", number 384. He approached in full swagger mode with a pen and note pad attached to the end of his swinging arms.

stopping ten feet away from me, cautious. Impeccable training.
He queried, "Are you the individual who contacted us about the deceased?"
"Yes."
I chose to keep it simple, reasoning it best not to over-explain. The police in this area are pre-disposed to cynicism, conclusion-jumping and impromptu tasering. Comes with the territory, I suppose. Even if they begin so, new recruits around here don't remain optimistic about human nature for long, and it just gets worse until they are either found guilty of using excessive force or they abandon their cruiser behind the Stop N Shop one day, never to be seen again. There's quite a turn-over on the local force, and several pending investigations.

  "I'll need you to remain in your home today until I ask you a few questions. You understand," officer Hemholtz grumbled.

And, yes, I did. That didn't change the fact that I had to get to work at some point. EcoCares had a big grant dog-and-pony show for Arthur W. Solamon, III at one thirty and, as benevolent founder, it was important that I be there. I hoped officer Hemholtz would find efficiency convenient. He cocked his head toward me slightly as if contemplating a vague level of recognition. Then he turned, unbuttoned his taser gun, and walked toward the Colonel's house. He did some more swaggering toward the front door, looking either quite tired or formidable, I wasn't sure which. Then he knocked, which I thought was strange. I mentioned in a friendly way that the back door was open and to mind the floor, then made my way back to my house to pour my favorite breakfast cereal mix: Raisin Bran and Frosted Mini-Wheats. I used a dirty bowl and the last of the milk in the fridge.

Haikus are easy
Though some don't make any sense.
Refrigerator.

After waiting on my couch for the better part of an hour, I got up and strolled to the window. The cruiser was gone and there was yellow plastic crime scene tape strewn all over the Colonel's front lawn. It  resembled the aftermath of a violent territorial dispute between the tribe of cordless paper shredders and the dollar store rain ponchos. The front door was taped shut with a proud banner. "Do Not Open--Crime Scene". Crime Scene. Maybe they know something I don't. Since when did a heart attack become against the law?

I walked to the corner and took the next bus into the city, preparing some notes for my secretary, Debbie, on the way. There would be minimal difficulties shuffling off my work to her and to Billy the volunteer who shows up sometimes maybe sporadically, schedule largely determined by whenever his conscience needed bleeding off.

I would budget 1 week for the trip, This should be more than enough time. Maybe I'd scoot by my sister's house on the way back. Maybe not. The sun was giving me a headache, and the smog was causing my vision to blur. Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, I couldn't see and my head hurt. I needed underarm deodorant and some of those Water Pik glide floss strips. My dentist is fond of saying that if I'm going to either discontinue flossing or cut off your arms, flossing's going to be difficult.